I've never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, but I have been to a point where I started to understand how people could feel that way. I think a lot of people have, but like I said before, they don't want to admit it. My entire journey was full of people telling me, "It could be worse". As soon as that was said to me, I would think that they were right, until it did get worse: Until I was diagnosed with more blood clots, until my leg re-opened and regressed, until I developed blood clots in my other leg, until I did get an infection, and so on and so forth. Don't get me wrong, there are SO many people in our world starving, fighting for their lives, battling cancer, withering away due to sickness, losing loved ones, battling abuse, getting bullied and undergoing so many different challenges. My point is that everyone has their own challenges, and although some may be more difficult than others, it doesn't mean that what you are going through isn't important. What is important is that you keep your battles in perspective. So how do you get through the tough parts of your life? How do you come out with a positive attitude despite it all? I've had a little time to think about my experiences and have decided that I would have loved to give myself the following advice:
1. Trust in God.
Put your trust in God. He will be your guidance. He will provide you with the strength and love that you need to get through this. Even when you don't attend church, even when you doubt it all, have faith. Pray. Be thankful. Be faithful.
2. Focus and Express Your Frustrations
Use any chance you get focus your energy, your sadness, and your anger. Focus on your issues, draw them, paint them, write about them, blog about them, make a movie about them, write a song about them do something about them in your own way. Please do NOT focus your frustrations into another person other than yourself. You are not the center of anyone else's universe but your own (and maybe your Mom, Dad or Fiance'). Please don't go focusing your frustration on another person. Keep it personal. Do it in a way that makes you happy and gets your frustrations out. This is so therapeutic, and might just produce some amazing/famous/life changing work. So believe in yourself and get it out!
3. Distract Yourself
Alright, now that you have all of your focus on your problems.... you should probably stop thinking about them for a little bit. You should still be a productive member of society. Find something you love or would love to learn. Pursue it, and do it with all of your heart. Volunteer, get a job, blog about crafting, make purses, and plan your wedding!! Do something that makes you think about something other than your issues, and even better, makes you think about someone else or other, larger, more worldly issues. It will give you some perspective and you might even do things you never thought possible.
4. Do you BEST.
Feel like giving up!? That's okay, but don't use it as an excuse to not give your 100%. You are an amazing, strong, powerful woman with so much to give to others. Don't lose that identity now. Give your 100% and settle for nothing less. That being said, don't take on too much. Step back from a few things. Stepping back doesn't mean that you aren't doing your best... it means that you ARE. Do what you can do, but do it as best as you can. I mean this physically and mentally....try your best and you will be your best.
5. Stay Positive
Use this as your mantra. Everything in life is easier to tackle when you have a positive outlook. If you can just force yourself to look at the glass half full, even if it takes you a few different angles, you will be happier. And isn't that what life is all about? Being happy?
6. Trust Your Gut
You're great at looking at the brighter side of things, but don't be thinking, "I'm getting a chest cold, it's not too hard to breathe. I just played a great game of volleyball!". You need to trust your nagging gut feeling that is saying, "It really hurts to breathe and I've never felt this way before, I should go to the doctor". Those instinctual thoughts aren't something to mess around with. You were five minutes away from staying in bed all night in May 2011 instead of going to the emergency room. Acting on that gut feeling was a life or death decision, keep making those important, "trust your gut" decisions.
7. Balance Your Life
You're problems/battles will become an added part of your life. You already have school, you're fiance' your family, your friends, your jobs, and your clubs to be a part of. You will go to the doctor A LOT, and you will need to move your schedule around. Not only are you juggling all of the other things you are used to, you are adding another thing to your already full plate. Remember when I said that you should take a step back if you need to in order to do your best? I meant it! If you can't rid yourself of something on your plate altogether in order to make room for your battles, then take just a tiny bit back from a few things to split the difference. Make sure that you can balance everything in a healthy way.
8. GET HELP
Get help and work with someone/something to get better. There are amazing people in our world who are happy to help and weirdly get satisfaction from helping you do your best, be your best and succeed. You will find an amazing team of doctors and therapists to help you through it, but find those friends that will help you. And take the help. Always take it, and thank them for it!
So what do you think? If you could go back and time and give yourself advice, what would it be? I hope this advice to myself will help some of you with your own battles. Feel free to add or change some of this advice to fit your own situations right now. Please let me know what you think of this, feedback is appreciated!
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